Be Careful What You Wish For, It Might Come True
by nix.mixx.94
Summary: Everyday when she was a child, Emma used to wish for a family but when it finally comes true and she's spent years of her life in a fairy tale she can't help but feel like she never wanted this and she wants nothing more but for things to go back to how they were. Inspired by Emma's desire to go back to New York. Set 3x19 & 3x20.


_This idea popped up in my head. I haven't written any OUAT but I love reading it. I really wanted to read a story about Emma and her going back to New York, mostly alone, and her feeling replaced by Regina and the baby. (If anyone knows a story like this let me know). I wrote my own spin, I hope you enjoy it. I don't own OUAT. _

The one thing that you could say remains consistent through all the fairytales you've heard growing up is to be carful of what you wish for. No one ever tells you that getting what you always wanted may not be as great as it seems. Growing up an orphan you dream of a family that loves you, you dream that the reason they couldn't keep you is because they had to go save the world and they were only protecting you. Every orphan has these dreams and they always wish to reunite with their perfect family only to be disappointed when no one comes for them.

These dreams are what give us orphans hope that someday everything would be all right. Unfortunately, it very rarely ever does, and by the time you turn 18 the world sucks and it brings you down. You never had anyone who loves you as any child should always be loved, you are let down by so many people that you become jaded to everything and expect nothing from anyone which leads to learning to rely on nobody but your self. No matter what happens after, once an orphan always an orphan.

Emma Swan learned this the hard way. After 28 years full of betrayal and abandonment you learn that being on your own is better. You may get sucked in to a perfect life, the literal fairytale family, but in the end you feel like you never belong and its only you against the world. When she gave Henry up for adoption over 10 years ago she knew she was going the right thing, he would have a family right from the start and have people who loved him as their own, he would never have to know the horrors of foster care.

Emma knew that when Henry came for her, he needed someone to save him but also to teach him that he truly was loved by Regina. When Emma saw that Regina's true love kiss to Henry broke the curse her heart broke but something inside of her saw that Henry truly belonged with Regina. The year that they shared in New York, fake memories courtesy of Regina, had shown her that as long of Henry was truly loved they could get through anything. When she 'remembered' the decision to keep Henry she also remembered the struggles to keep food on the table, for the first 5 years of his life she had worked constantly and barely ever saw him. When Emma landed her bail bonds person job she became a better mother for it. Looking back through the last year she remembered all of the times when she had thought, only for a moment, that she should have given Henry up and that something wasn't right.

Her memories of raising Henry had been great and something she always dreamed of but it was also false, deep down there was a reason that she gave him up and she could feel those reasons trickling in as she watched Regina interact with Henry as his mom for the first time since coming to Storybrooke. Her insecurities and her gut told her that this was his home and he should stay here. Emma always trusted her instincts; it had gotten her through many abusive foster care situations. Unlike Emma's first interactions with Regina, her superpower picked up no detection of a lie when Regina said that she loved Henry.

A large part of Emma didn't want Henry to remember life in Storybrooke because she knew that is he remembered than he would realize his true home. As selfish as it was, she wished that he could remain naïve to Storybrooke and they could continue living their cursed fairytale life in New York just the two of them, they could continue pretending that everything was perfect and that they were both 100% happy and had everything that they ever wanted.

When Emma looked around the boathouse she realized that she never felt more alone than in this moment. Henry was with Regina and Robin Hood catching up on the missing year. Mary Margaret and David, her parents, were huddled together and caught up in their memories, David had died and their true love had saved them again. They even had another child on the way, one that they wouldn't have to give up. She knew that they would defeat Zelena and that they would come out on top like they always do, together. Emma was being replaced: Regina was now taking over the role of Henry's mom and Mary Margaret and David would have a new baby any day now. The only people that she even remotely cared about were either dead or had found replacements. She couldn't help but feel like she was being squeezed out of her own life.

Emma couldn't help but feel like she was watching a fairy tale rather than being part of these moments. She had always felt like she was on the outside of every moment and this was no differed. Snow and Charming would have another heir and product of true love, one they could raise and love its whole life. The child would grow up being loved and feeling wanted, something that Emma felt she never had. She could feel the angst stir up inside of her along with a hint of jealousy towards her unborn sibling. Emma decided that she needed to get some air so she could finally breath.

Emma walked towards the docks and stood at the edge staring out at the endless water. There was one consistent thing that Emma could always rely on and that was herself. She started to picture her life after Storybrooke, when Zelena was defeated, and she always saw herself back in New York but the thing was Henry wasn't around. There was still his presence, holidays and visits where she would see him, but in her gut she knew that he would end up in Storybrooke. The trouble was that Emma had no longing to stay and the thought of being here caused so much anxiety in her.

She heard footsteps behind her. There was a single person, too loud to be Henry, and the swoosh of leather left one choice, Hook. The footsteps stopped, he wasn't right behind her but she could feel him near her, she could feel his apprehensiveness to approach her especially after keeping Zelena's curse a secret from her. For some reason she trusted him more than she trusted anyone else in the world and his secret hurt her.

After a deep breath Emma turned around and saw Hook 10 feet behind her. He was good at reading when she really needed space and when to push her buttons. Now was the time for space, so he decided to let her make the first move.

Emma spotted the wooden crates at the side of the dock and sat on one of them. After a moment she nodded her head towards Hook and motioned for him to sit beside her. He complied. They sat in silence, Emma was thinking of what to say and Hook was just anxious for Emma's reaction. He was debating what she was going to do to him when she finally spoke up.

"I don't hate you for this." Emma finally looked Hook in the face. "In my memories I was always the one looking out for Henry, it was just the two of us. We only had each other. I know what it was like to keep a secret, when I was trying to keep the truth about Storybrooke from Henry I thought that I was doing it so that I could protect him and I didn't want to cause him any pain." The corner of Hook's lip twitched up in a smile at Emma's words. "but the truth was that I didn't want him to remember because if he didn't know about his life before hand than we could leave, get out of town and never come back and he would still be my son."

Hook's expression changed when Emma finally admitted her feelings. He could feel Emma's loss, with Henry gaining his memories back came along with the truth that she never really had him and he wasn't hers to keep. Hook felt guilty because bringing her the memory potion was what changed her life.

"Emma, love, I'm sorry." Killian said and Emma looked him straight in the eyes. "I am sorry for keeping the curse a secret. Most of all I feel guilty for bringing back your memories but I am not sorry for that because I got to see you again." Emma's lips twitched into a quick smile but she quickly composed herself. An idea came to her.

"Hook." Emma said seriously, "Killian" she softened up a bit. "I forgive you for everything." She put her hand over his. " I need you to do one thing for me."

"Anything". Hook replied straight away. There wasn't anything in the world that he wouldn't do for her.

"When the time comes I need you to kiss me." His eyes opened in shock and he looked like her was going to object but Emma ignored him and continued, "After Zelena is defeated, I want you to take away my magic. I don't want to be the savior. If there is one thing that I know it is that the people here, they can take care of themselves and with Regina saving people things really have changed. I don't need to worry about her any more. I don't need to worry about Henry."

"You're going back to New York." Killian knew deep down that she couldn't stay. Being an orphan himself he knew some of what she was feeling. Her parents were here, her unborn sibling, her son, him, but the more that he looked into her eyes the more that he could see she had thought this through. Emma was truly resolved on this issue. Killian knew that Emma would never fully leave her boy behind, they would stay in touch and see each other a lot.

"Yes." Emma simply stated.

Killian recognized the look of the orphan again in her eyes and mixed with her stubbornness he knew that there was no way to stop her so that left no choice to him but to join her. He raised his hook to lightly trail the stray piece of hair and place it behind her ear.

"When do we leave, love?" Killian's cocky smirk filled his face and Emma found herself smiling back at him.


End file.
